Dwelling On My Gay Past
by Ashleybuscus
Summary: Beck and André's past. So romantic I cant even stand myself right now. Also angst and humor. Bendré! :D   U


**Yo! Ok, this story wont be THAT depressing, but Beck will be depressed for most of it.**

**Disclaimer- Nobody who writes these storys owns Victorious, otherwise they'd be making them episodes.**

**The present tense is in normal, past tense is in italics. **

Dwelling on my Gay past

WOW.

His hair is SO bouncy. So big. So...INSANE! It the best colour any hair can be - Raven. And the way it sways a millimetre form side to side when he walks puts me into a coma of pure love.

But his personality is better.

I dont think I've ever seen him angry. Only in plays and films, all he really feels is happy, kindness, love-

But thats the thing. Love. He feels it for the Witch, and only the Witch. The Witch that bullies my best friend.

Every time I see him kiss her or do somthing romantic, a part of me dies. She dosent love him properly, she dosent give him freedom. He should be riding flying guitars into the sunset with me, not perched on her broomstick while she swoops down the highway to Hell.

I wish we could be in the olden days, so she could be burnt at the steak.

I wish me and him could be in the olden days, the days before she came, and he left me.

* * *

><p><em>He took my hand in his as we dropped down the big dip. This was by far the scariest rollercoaster I'd ever been on, but him squeezing my hand in his made it ok. I looked at him, his hair flying back,a wide, terrified smile on his face. He looked back at me and gave me one of those little pecks on the lips,that was so small, but so big all at the same time. Then he looked into my eyes, and for a moment the world stopped spinning.<em>

_"You scared?" he asked when we came to the next dip._

_"A little. You?"_

_"Petrified!"_

_We toppled over the vertical drop and my stomach entered my brain._

* * *

><p>Lunch. Yeah. Burrito time!<p>

I sat Inbeetween Tori and Beck - slightly closer to Beck - before diving into the wonder of salad and tuna inside a wrap. The taste felt like heaven, whatever heaven feels like.

"..Ok, you liked that burrito." Beck's silk voice glided through the air and danced into my ears before relaxing on the eardrum.

"YES, IT WAS DELICIOUS!"

"You want some of mine?

There is no way I could take from this fallen Angel.

"No thanks, keep it for youself."

I looked into his eyes again, wanting to be with him more and more every second, no-every millisecond. I glanced at his lips, only just resisting the urge to press mine against them. I looked at his vanilla skin, wanting to create a double ice-cream with my chocolate skin. Love was filling my up like juice.

Then the Witch came along and spoilt everything.

She grabbed his head and dragged him into a dangorously fierce kiss. It was bearly a kiss at all, more like mouth to mouth, but he seemed to like it.  
>Watching this made me think of the worst day of my life.<p>

The day I was abandoned in the middle of a desert, with no food or water.

* * *

><p><em>"André, I need to tell you somthing, and you wont like it."<em>

_That was a lie. I loved everything he said, even when we had arguments. _ _His voice was like music to me, like the stumming of an electric guitar, like the tooting of a french horn, like-_

_"We have to break up."_

_Ok, I didn't like that._

_"...Why?"_

_"Because...erm..I love someone else. Jade."_

_Ok, I REALLY didn't like that._

_"Your leaving me... for a GIRL?"_

_"I'm so sorry. It just wasn't meant to be."_

_I ran out of the janitor's closet and all the way home._

* * *

><p>I couldn't face any more pain. I went to his glamorous RV that night to try and make him recall his love for me. I needed his kiss again, his hand in mine. My arms longed to wrap around his waist, just one more time.<p>

He opened the door and I almost passed out. He was shirtless. OMG.

"Hey, André." He pretty-much-sung, motioning for me to come in.

"Hey, can you help me with somthin'?

"Sure, what?"

"Erm... a school project?"

"We don't have any school project."

"I do."

"Were in all the same classes together."

"Well...erm...uh..."

"Your not here for help, are you?"

I bowed my head and shook it.

"Your dwelling on the past, arn't you?"

I nodded.

"André, after 2 years, you still like me? Even what me and Jade have been through?"

"...Yeah"

"Well. Thats stressful. But do you know whats even more stressful?"

"What?"

"I still love you too."

Then we went into a kiss so tender, so beautiful, so heavenly. I was on another planet.

Until I heard a high pitched scream. I looked behind me to see Tori and the Witch. Tori was wailing so loud she could be strapped to the top of her dad's van and used as a police siren.

* * *

><p>Beck took one look at the Witch and crumbled to the floor, his face in his hands.<p>

It was al over. They'd found out our secret. Now the Witch would get so angry she'd tell everyone at school we were Gay and we'd be bullied to the ground every day.

"VEGA, QUIT SCREAMING, THEY ONLY KISSED!"

Oh.

The Witch crouched down beside Beck and rubbed his shoulder.

"Beck? Beck, are you ok?"

Yes, he's fine, thats why he crumbled to the ground and started crying.

"I'm so sorry, Jade, I should have told you, it's just-"

"Beck, I already knew."

This was a shock to everyone in the room. Even Jade. Proberbly.

"When your tired and we make out, you always yell 'Oh, André, André!'"

"Do I?"

"Yeah."

"...Oh. And you don't mind?"

"My only wish is for you to be happy."

Ever since she let us be together, she's been my idol.

* * *

><p>"You scared?" he asked when we came to the next dip.<p>

"A little. You?"

"Petified!"

We were saying the same things, doing the same things, playing the same things all over again. I was re-living the best day of my life.

But with one diffrence.

Instead of a little peck on the lips, he gave my a real, film star kiss.

I was not only on another planet, I was in another universe.

**Ok, that was so romantic i'm falling out of my chair right now. Literally.**

**Please review, I'll give you virtual cupcakes in my next one-shot!**

**Indy xxx**


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